By Meredith’s Counseling Center, located at the Colbert Institute for Anti-Aging in Southlake, TX.

Visit us at SouthlakeCounselingNearMe.com

Why Feeling Your Feelings Matters

Emotions are an integral part of the human experience. They guide our decisions, shape our relationships, and influence our well-being. However, many people struggle to fully feel and process their emotions, often suppressing them or projecting them onto others. Learning to sit with emotions, understand them, and process them in a healthy way is essential for emotional well-being and personal growth.

Research in psychology and neuroscience supports the idea that emotional processing is key to resilience, self-awareness, and healthier relationships. Additionally, inviting God into this process can provide profound comfort, guidance, and healing.

The Science Behind Emotional Suppression

• A study by Gross (2015) found that suppressing emotions can lead to increased stress and poorer mental health.
• Pennebaker (1997) discovered that people who avoid processing difficult emotions are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and weakened immune function.
• Conversely, individuals who express and process their emotions experience better psychological and physical health.

The Danger of Taking Feelings Out on Others

When emotions are unprocessed, they don’t simply disappear—they often manifest in unhealthy ways:

• Lashing out at loved ones
• Withdrawing emotionally
• Engaging in self-destructive behaviors

This is known as emotional displacement. For example, someone who feels hurt by a loved one might take out their frustration on a coworker. Baumeister et al. (1996) found that unresolved emotions can lead to aggression, relationship conflict, and long-term emotional damage.

How to Process Emotions Healthily

1. Name and Acknowledge Your Feelings

Psychologist Dan Siegel coined the phrase “name it to tame it”, emphasizing that labeling emotions reduces their intensity. For example, instead of reacting impulsively, saying, “I feel hurt because I was ignored,” helps you address the emotion constructively.

2. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness—the practice of being present with your thoughts and feelings—has been shown to improve emotional regulation. A 2011 study in Psychiatry Research found that mindfulness meditation increases gray matter density in brain regions associated with emotional control.

3. Express Emotions Constructively

Journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or engaging in creative outlets like art or music can help in processing emotions. Pennebaker & Seagal (1999) found that expressive writing improves mental and physical health by helping individuals make sense of their feelings.

4. Seek Professional Support

Therapy provides a safe space to explore and process emotions with the guidance of a trained professional. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) are particularly effective in helping individuals understand and manage emotions.

The Role of Faith in Emotional Healing

Inviting God into the process of emotional healing can be transformative. Dr. Don Colbert, in his book “The Spiritual Zone,” emphasizes aligning emotional health with spiritual well-being:

“When we bring our pain, fears, and struggles to God, we open ourselves to His healing presence. God meets us in our brokenness and provides the comfort, wisdom, and strength we need to move forward.” – Dr. Don Colbert

Prayer, meditation on Scripture, and surrendering emotions to God can bring peace and clarity. As Dr. Colbert explains, “The spiritual zone is where we allow God to work in our hearts, transforming our pain into purpose and our struggles into strength.”

The Link Between Emotional Processing and Personal Growth

Personal growth is about learning to navigate emotions effectively. When we allow ourselves to process our emotions, we gain:

• Self-Awareness: Understanding emotional triggers and patterns.
• Empathy: Becoming more attuned to the emotions of others.
• Resilience: Developing the ability to recover from emotional setbacks.

“We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive ones.” – Brené Brown

Conclusion

Allowing yourself to feel your feelings is not a sign of weakness, but a courageous step toward healing and growth. By processing emotions in a healthy way—rather than suppressing them or taking them out on others—you build resilience, improve relationships, and foster a deeper understanding of yourself.

For those who seek spiritual support, inviting God into this journey can provide unparalleled comfort and guidance. As Dr. Don Colbert reminds us, true healing occurs when we align our emotional, physical, and spiritual health.

Ready to start your healing journey? Visit Meredith’s Counseling Center to learn more.